I want to share Jesis's love!

by Roberta Shugs

I woke up today and I saw the sun streaming in my window. As I lay there, I was filled with the deep and joyful love of the Lord, and a bit of Jesis. As I threw open my shutters to fully reveal the beauty of His creation, I knew I had to go forth into the world and share his Word. I immediately sprung to my basement, which is the only room safe enough to keep our Tandy away from our kids.

Naturally, using computers is a labor reserved for the head of the household. So I awoke my husband and told him to use the internet to spread my word to everbody. Seeing as how he thinks I am always insightful, he recommended a web log. Now I am prepared to share the wonders I have seen with the universe. Naturally, I say this from a woman’s point of view, which is worth 3/5 of a man’s.

I’m Roberta Shugs, your average stay at home mom, with a prophetic mantle. That’s right, I can see God’s path into the future, unlike my hokey husband, who needs to use Bible codes to see what is happening. Speaking of my dear husband, James, he’s better known as “The Mole Man.” In fact, if you’ve clicked on this page, you’re probably looking for his site, http://www.jesishatesmoles.edu/. But you can stick around if you want to grab ahold of the Spirit of God and squeeze his life out to others.

Between us, we share four kids: Spud, Tamar, Absalom, Deborah, Ruth and.

Deborah is a wonderful mortal. She’s always attending her high school. The other day she was so filled with Christ’s spirit she went into a carnal high school dance. Filled with holy hate not unlike Jesis at temple. Incensed at what she saw there, she screamed at the top of her lungs, before falling on the floor in a fit of praise.

Our twins are named Absalom and Tamar. We call them Ab, or Abbey, or RockHardAb, and Tamar. Absalom is first in his junior high intensive Bible training. It’s no wonder—he’s spoken in tongues since birth. Tamar says things too.

Spud’s our youngest, and the only one not born of our holy seed. He was a prize (those who know me know what I mean). He suffers from a disease that makes God make his arms much shorter, like flippers. Despite this, he does not swim very good, as we found out at his baptism.

As you can see, I’ve experienced my share of the Lord’s amazing bounties. I’ll say that birthing four miracle children is the best of my gifts. I can only imagine how much greater these experiences would have been had I been a man.

To the Thessolonians,
Roberta